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Core Values in Yourself and Your Relationship

By Lane Ethridge on Jun 12, 2016

In spite of living in a society that promotes individualism, it seems we're all seeking an intimate relationship. This is good and healthy, and a strong partnership can contribute to our personal growth.

However, if we haven't worked enough on improving ourselves, we often unconsciously turn to someone else, expecting that person to complete us. This sets both people up for failure, and a deep, lasting relationship cannot be cultivated.

It's critical to be open and honest about our needs and wants. We can only attract someone who has the qualities we want by first developing those qualities in ourselves. Therefore, identifying the characteristics that are important to you in a mate will also give you a clue about what you need to make sure you're working on in your own life.

For me, there are five core values/qualities that are non-negotiable in my potential partners, and therefore are non-negotiable in my own life, as well.

Faith

A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that I have to seek Him to find her. When a woman is faithful it shows that she is also able to commit. The devotion to her faith sets the precedence of respecting something greater than herself; therefore, I trust her to be able to place that kind of importance on our union.

Relationships take a lot of work. Life is full of challenges that can strain a couple, and there will be times that we will need to rely on our faith to get us through. When my partner has a foundation built on God, I can lean on that strength when we need it the most; likewise, she can lean on the strength of my own faithful foundation.

There is nothing more attractive to me than a woman holding up her man while uplifting the glory to Him. Those who pray together, stay together. And those who have a faith united in the respect for each other, with Him at the center, will withstand the adversities that will ultimately strengthen the bond between them.

Family

Focusing on the family is essential when creating a lasting relationship. Though times are changing, there are still sex-specific roles that need to be honored. Men and women each have unique traits that are suitable for certain tasks and situations, and the family functions best when these are upheld.

When family comes first, life has more meaning. We all want to be loved and cherished, and that starts at home. Our families, for good or bad, shape so much of who we become as people. I am devoted to putting my family first, so when considering a partner, it is critical for me that she be a passionate lover, an honoring wife and a magnificent mom.

Passion

There is nothing sexier and more arousing than a woman who plays all out for something she believes in. An unwavering commitment to a purpose, a cause, or a career is awesome, because it matches my own passion in life. A woman who is dedicated to utilizing her uniqueness to create or advance something greater than herself is to be admired.

The human soul on fire is contagious. It illustrates strength and perseverance, which translates into devotion and sacrifice. The skills it takes to be passionate about something increases the excitement in a relationship. When each partner is pursuing a different passion, the time spent apart adds value to the time spent together.

Health/Fitness

Working out and eating well show that you respect yourself. I take care of my body, and I've noticed that respecting yourself enough to take care of your body physically shows up in so many ways — not just by looking good in clothes (or out of them!). Making sacrifices and compromises are a key component to a healthy relationship, and when you are able to do this independently for your health it translates into other areas of your life.

Without health we have nothing. I want my lifelong relationship to be not just long, but also healthy and vibrant. Life is an adventure, and when you can be adventurous together it makes life a lot more special. Investing in your bodies together will ultimately allow you to enjoy each other’s bodies more intimately as well. Good health leads to abundance in everything.

Support

Ultimately, this is all I really want, and I want to give it, as well. I want to know my partner is behind me 100% (as long as it’s mutually beneficial for the relationship). We are ever-evolving people and we change constantly. The more support we get, the more we are able to grow and the more we are able to focus on our own needs. When we don’t feel honored and supported we begin to question how much we are truly loved. The more love and appreciation we get from a woman, the more we will be engaged in the relationship.

 

Each of us yearns for someone to come alongside us in our journey to make life better. When you’re with someone special who you enjoy being with, life is more fulfilling. Your key core values may differ from these, but once you determine what they are, don’t compromise on them. Be steadfast in who you are, proud of the way you were created, and open to improving yourself to make the relationship stronger. 

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